Dreaming of returning.

 

Roatan became this perfect place in my mind. A special place where I could stash away my dreams find a peaceful memory. We talked even then about the big dream, moving there, leaving here, it seemed so impossible so unreal. But after all that’s kind of what dreams are. Do they really ever come true ,your biggest dreams?

We did return several years later on another cruise. We were planning a cruise with some special friends and family. Some of them we met on our first cruise to Roatan. I must say I was a little disappointed when I found out the Itinerary.  I wanted to go other places explore different parts of the Caribbean. The importance of this cruise was the people we were traveling with not the places we were going. At that time Roatan had become a special memory, a place I kept stashed away for some time in the future.  Going there for just a day on another cruise seemed like a tease, so I made it just another cruise day in my mind.

We spent a beautiful day on the island did many things. When we arrived there my heart was filled with joy as if I had just arrived to see a special friend I thought I may never see again. Upon leaving I was sad and left with a feeling that the time was just not enough.  So we returned home again with dreams of returning.

Over the next several years we discussed the idea of going back to visit, dreamed of escaping there to live someday.  As life here became more and more uncertain and ever changing it became a dream to hold onto. Not long ago we found ourselves at a point in life a crossroads. Uncertainty of jobs, our girls, teens in college growing up, poor economy, drove us to think of the future. It seemed like a perfect time for us to return.  We felt God had put us in a place in life where we needed to look to the future. I guess I was at a point where I was sick of the day dream, sick of the hope. The dream of this place had become more of a burden than a hope. I wanted to know once and for all if it was a dream to hold on to or one to send off like a bottle in the ocean never to be visited again.

So when the time came to return and it seemed so unreal. Not only were we going to Roatan we were going for two whole weeks and we were looking at property with the hopes of moving there, retiring there, visiting there on a regular basis. Which if any we did not know, would this be the last time we ever go there, would we be saying good bye. I found myself thinking what if it does not live up to the dream what if it is not what I have made it out to be in my mind.

The weeks before we left were filled with holiday craziness, family, friends, and finally thoughts of packing. The days ahead were filled with pain and worry, my back was bad and I had a very hard time packing. This was probably a good thing because then I did not over think I did not worry we just left. Well sort of our flight was canceled we rushed to another airport and then left.